"Cause I Am Giving Up On Half-Empty Glasses…"

Ingrid Michaelson is very great. I’m so glad that we got to see her in The Hub on Friday. Her songs are so “cute,” haha. I go to bed with one of her songs in my head, and I wake up with a new one. She is perpetually stuck in my head now. That’s all there is to it. I should just accept it. Not that I’ve been trying to fight it, but it can get a little distracting when I’m trying to take a midterm.

I was very distracted during my midterm today, actually. Just thinking about all kinds of things. Like how we pray, and it seems like God answers sometimes, but sometimes He doesn’t, for instance. It’s so weird how there’s so much that we don’t, and can’t, understand about prayer and life and death and love and joy and God. But someday we will. Last night at Bible study we went off on a tangent about dreams, and why we even have them. Really, what’s the point of them? Sometimes they’re so random, that you’re just like, “How did I even think of that??” And sometimes, for some people, they’re prophetic, or healing, or just fun. Time is weird too. Like if you have to take a test in 5 hours, you feel so crunched for time! But if you have, say, a five-hour drive to home home, the way I do, then you feel like it goes on forever. And the idea that we are bound by time, but that God isn’t, just blows my mind. (We went off on that tangent last night, too. Haha.) It’s so weird. That’s one of those things that we just cannot comprehend, no matter how hard we try. Or sometimes, like Rachael was saying, you feel like you get it, for a split second, and then it’s gone again. Faster than a blink of an eye.

Haha. That’s one of those Christianese cliches–“in the blink of an eye.” There are so many of those. It’s kinda funny. Like on Sunday, when Zoe Hillner was praying during worship at Reality on Sunday, she said something like “Just let us press into You, Lord…,” and I couldn’t help but kinda giggle, because “pressing into Him” is another one of those cliches. Don’t get me wrong; I think cliches are great. They’re cliches because they speak truth. But they’re also cliches because, since they get used so often, it’s almost like people forget what they really mean. I guess it just goes along with my thing of wanting to say what I really mean. Like when I say something, I don’t want to just be saying meaningless words. I want to speak with intention. I find that I speak less when I’m doing that, which is a good thing, since I talk so much.

On a different note, I’ve been practicing my guitar more recently. I still don’t practice as often as I should be practicing, but I figured out why I’ve been having trouble with practicing. I’m bad at playing the guitar. That’s all there is it to it. To get better, I know that I need to practice, but that’s my problem. If I’m bad at something, I give up on it. I’d rather just not do it than have to go through being bad at it for a while. I’m like that with most things in life, actually. If I can’t do it, I just give up and move on. That’s why I don’t like confrontation, because I’d rather just give up on it and not have to talk through it. Maybe that should be my new new year resolution: to give up giving up. Haha…

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