So I’ve been back in SB for a week now. It feels good to be back. It’s weird though. I keep thinking about how this is my last year of undergrad. I’d like to stay longer, at least another quarter, but then I don’t know. I don’t know what I’d do for the two quarters that I wasn’t in school. I wouldn’t want to go back home, but I wouldn’t be able to pay for a place myself, and I doubt my parents would if I wasn’t in school. I wish I could just worry about the moment. Just worry about this year. It seems as though I’m always thinking of the year ahead. My last year at community college, I was thinking about applying to transfer, and where I would be transferring to, and what that would be like, instead of just focusing on my last year there. I don’t want to do the same thing this year, but at the same time, I worry that if I don’t look ahead enough, I’ll get behind, and then the edge of the cliff will suddenly be right in front of me, and I won’t be ready to jump because I hadn’t been preparing myself along the way.
It’s funny that we use that metaphor; the edge of a cliff. As if to say that moving on to a new stage in life is like falling–going lower and lower. I guess it kind of makes sense. If you hit the bottom after having jumped from a cliff, you die. And as life goes on, we get older, until, eventually, we die.
Today is the first day of classes. I only have class Tuesdays and Thursdays, with two sections on Friday. I have the hugest break though; class 8-9:15a and then nothing again until 3:30p. So I’m eating lunch right now. I hate being able to hear myself chew. To me it sounds pretty loud, because it’s echoing in my head, but then I get all paranoid that everyone else is hearing it the same way I am. I wonder if “chewing with your mouth open” is a deal breaker. I think it would be for me. I mean, somebody explain this phenomenon to me. Do people who chew with their mouths open realize that they’re doing it? Or do they just not think that their chewing is gross and loud? Do they not realize that other people are chewing their food normally, while they smack along? Because if it’s something they really don’t get, then does that mean I could possibly be one of them and not even know it? If that were the case, I would want to be told!! Obviously not in front of a bunch of people, but I’d like it to somehow be brought to my attention. It would probably be hard for the person doing the telling though. So maybe an anonymous note is a good method. It’s the same thing with people who have bad BO.
Do they not realize it? Some people just straight up don’t wear deodorant. Like that girl who plays Naomi on 90210. Gaby read somewhere that she doesn’t wear it, and that her co-workers are always trying to offer her some, but she refuses. Now every time I watch 90210 (and yes, I watch 90210 lol) and she comes, I pay closer attention to whoever is in the scene with her. I know people say that they’re bad actors, but I have to give them some credit for not making disgusted faces when she’s hugging them or something.